Jill of the Year

Internet, I am here to tell you why my Jill is the best Jill ever.

If you don't know what a Jill is then by all means please google the phrase "IDK my BFF Jill".

Who else than my Jill would go all the way to Arkansas just to go to a flea market and bring me back the most beautifully carved wooden turtle my eyes have ever seen. (Please ignore the facts here, she went to Arkansas to visit her family and most importantly the ever growing Baby Love.) She more than anyone understands my adoration of all things turtle. While she on vacation I sent her a text telling her that my first and most loved turtle "Blade" had gone missing from the turtle pond I built in my front yard. She didn't even text me back. Immediately she called and listened to me do nothing but sob into the phone. She was in CALIFORNIA on vacation. She has gifted me so many turtle items. A turtle frame to put the picture of my love Blade in, a book all about turtles, a turtle back massager, a turtle air freshener and now the most beautifully carved wooden turtle my eyes have ever seen. Yep, she gets it.

Also, who but my Jill would suffer through cake and ice cream for a 7 year old she isn't even related by blood to? She is honorary aunt so she is related. Not just suffer through the evening but take pictures and smile for them.

For these reasons and a million more I nominate her for Jill of the year. Since I am the one giving out the award I declare her the winner. Now I should make her an actual award....

She has had a really tough go of it the last few months so please drop by her blog, give her some love and congratulate her on her hard earned award.

http://http//zipbagofbones.blogspot.com/

That's My Girl!

Today is Hannah's 7th birthday.
They had a talent show at her school today and she won first prize for singing! The song she sang? Iron Man by Ozzy Osbourne. Yup. That's my girl. I am totally curious as to what the teachers thought when she broke out that little diddy.

That for Which I am Thankful

This weekend totally rocked. Rocked in a way I have needed a weekend to rock for such a long time. This was the weekend of seeing people I love and haven't seen in such a long time. Too long. Anyway, let us start at the beginning.

The drive out to Wyoming Tuesday night was long but wonderful. Somewhere in South Dakota we lost an hour of time because of deer on the road. So many beautiful deer. Along the side of the road was the biggest buck I have ever seen with my own eyes. He was surrounded by harem of equally beautiful does. At least 10 of them. He was the pimp daddy of mule deer.

We arrived around 6 in the morning. Dog ass tired. I had coffee with my sister in law, snuck in several kisses on the forehead of my 17 year old son sleeping on the couch and bullshitted with my brother for a few before collapsing under the weight of my heavy eyelids. Skylee woke us up to let me know it was 12:30. Holy shit! I have to meet my Mom for lunch in 30 minutes. I rolled over and told Shawn it felt like I hadn't even slept yet. Then I jumped out of bed, rushed to the shower and threw my clothes on. Grabbed my keys and looked at the clock. 10:30? Huh? Dammit!! No wonder it felt like I hadn't slept. I hadn't, not for more than 2 hours. Ugh!

I did meet up with my Mom later and had lunch at my second favorite restaurant (my favorite was closed for remodeling), and ran some errands. I also made her incredibly late getting back to work. That is MY job! I ran and picked up my niece and nephew because I cannot wait a second longer to be completely surrounded by all of them. I adore my niece and nephews. They are the only reason I wish I lived closer and the main reason I go home as often as I can to visit. When I got back my brother had called to let Shawn know that his old roommate from when we were first dating was working in town and wanted to come see us!! Funny thing is, we had just discussed where he could be the week before. So, Mark came up and saw us and we all went for free Tom and Jerry's at the bar!

Thursday morning I woke early to help my sister in law get the turkey in. She wasn't up yet. What?? This thing should have been in half an hour ago. I had one of the kids wake her up because I couldn't find the pan to put the turkey in. She gets up and can't find it either. Apparently my brother threw the pan away! We ran to my Mom's. No pan big enough so we headed down to the store. They were out. I was freaking out but we eventually found a pan and got the turkey on about an hour and a half later than it should have been. As soon as I had the turkey in I sat down and wrote out a schedule of what time everything needed to go in the oven and the length of time it would take to cook. My brother added to the bottom of the list "drink beer all day". Turns out that is the only item on the list that was done correctly.

It is close to two, people are showing up and my turkey isn't even close to done. My brother looks at the schedule and says no wonder it isn't done, you didn't put it on the schedule. Ha ha! He gave me shit the entire day about my turkey not being done. Thank god we had a back up turkey and a ham. It was supposed to take the turkey 5 hours to cook, it took 7. We had fresh turkey with dinner.

The turkey coma hit and everyone was down for the count. Their were sleeping bodies everywhere. I woke up to someone poking me in the arm. I open my eyes, blink the sleep out and stretch. Then I scream. OH MY GOODNESS!! DEVINA!! She was one of my very best friends growing up. We had so many wonderful and not so wonderful times together. I haven't seen or heard from her in more than 10 years. She is a family members husband, they told her they were coming and she wanted to tag along. Yay!! We had an awesome time catching up. Here we are......

Thanksgiving day couldn't have been any better if I had planned it out. After the excitement of visiting with Devina my step kids showed up! Yes, there were tears. Huge wonderful tears of happiness. Lots of hugs and exclamations of how happy I was to see them. I had a wonderful heart to heart with my step daughter and let her know when I left I tried to take them for reasons beyond my control I wasn't able. I have dreamed every single day since the day I entered the safe house that one day I would be able to explain to them what happened, how much I loved them and how desperate I was to take them with me. Finally so many years later I was looking at adults and still feeling the motherly love I felt for them when they were children. Maybe someday I will tell the story of how I came to parent these children and how I was forced to stop parenting them. Not today though. Today I want to share with you the kids I love and the babies I could have been a grandma to and feel like an honorary aunt to (I am way to young to be a grammy!). Here we are. There is one girl missing. She wasn't able to make the trip down. I hope to see her next time.

The rest of the weekend was spent visiting with a revolving door of friends and family, drinking a few glasses of wine, eating a ton, shopping, throwing a last minute surprise 7th Birthday party for Hannah that made her cry of happiness and throw herself into my arms exclaiming I am the best mom ever and having one of the best trips home I have had in quite some time. This week is going to be long and stressful. My Dad closes on his house the same day as Hannah turns 7. I have done all the leg work so I have to be at the closing. I also have to make a trip to the Mall of America, the most stressful place on earth, because Shawn started the MOA tradition with Hannah on her second birthday. Our 17 year old also moved back home which is a huge blessing but also a bit stressful, we have to get him registered at school, insured to drive and help him find a job. Thank God I have this weekend to pull strength from.

So, that is the story of my best Thanksgiving ever. Wonderful family. Wonderful friends. Wonderful food. What could be better??

Civil War

This song was written when the first Bush was in office, as the second Bush leaves office the lyrics still ring true.


"What we've got here is failure to communicate.
Some men you just can't reach...So, you get what we had here last week,which is the way he wants it!
Well, he gets it!
N' I don't like it any more than you men." *

Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before
Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before
My hands are tied
The billions shift from side to side
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can't deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars
D'you wear a black armband
When they shot the man
Who said "Peace could last forever"
And in my first memories
They shot Kennedy
I went numb when I learned to see
So I never fell for Vietnam
We got the wall of D.C. to remind us all
That you can't trust freedom
When it's not in your hands
When everybody's fightin'
For their promised land
And I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
Look at the shoes your filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before
Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more
My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars
"We practice selective annihilation of mayors
And government officials
For example to create a vacuum
Then we fill that vacuum
As popular war advances
Peace is closer" **
I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
And I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
I don't need one more war
I don't need one more war
Whaz so civil 'bout war anyway

Random Ruminations

Are there any dream decipherers out there? I had some odd assed dreams last night and am dying to find out what they mean. When my Jill tells me her dreams I can always guess at what they may mean. My own, no idea.

I dreamt about my turtle tank. I refilled their water but it was too hot. 90 degrees according to the thermometer and no matter what I did I couldn't get the temperature down. I was fearful my precious turtles and their fishy friends would perish but there was no change in their behaviour and they didn't die.
Dream number 2 was odder still. I have dreams of my ex often but this one is odd. I was somewhere. I think a day care center or something that had a water slide. I watched several children fall to the cement below. None were mine and I knew none of them but I couldn't get off this slide. I was to afraid to either go down the slide or go back down the way I went up. When I finally got down I was inside of the day care building. A super old friend of mine came in and said my ex was outside to go out a different door and he wouldn't see me but I looked out the window and there he was. I remember hiding my son and walking out the door to see what he wanted but all I could say is "your hair looks weird". When he and I were together he shaved his head nearly bald, in my dream he had a blonde afro'ish hair due. Then I woke up. What in the hell is up with these dreams? Anyone?

Also, why is it that I spend hours organizing and cleaning my laundry room and ten minutes after I have walked out either the kids dump their laundry basket from their room into the middle of the floor OR Shawn comes in and kicks all my separated piles of laundry into one large pile of unseparated clothing? He then shrugs and says "I didn't know they were separated". Hmmm hello McFly! Did you think the jeans fell into their own pile?

So help me out with my dreams people!! Please!

The Sweetest Things

Hannah and I are sitting here discussing that I am tired and should go to bed. I told her maybe I should lock my door so Skylee doesn't sneak into my room in the middle of the night. She said "that's a good idea, then I won't have to sleep alone tonight". I asked her what she was going to do when she grows up and has to sleep alone. Her response "I will never have to worry about that Mom, I am going to live with you guys my whole life". I said "Oh yeah? What if we don't want you to live with us our whole life?" She got super pouty and whined "You don't want me living with you? I am your baby. You don't want your baby?".
Yeah, she wins. Of course I do. If she could only stay a sweet little girl her whole life!

God Bless Keith Oberman

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27652443#27652443

This topic is near and dear to my heart. My little sister is gay. It doesn't make her less of a person. I doesn't make her immoral. It doesn't make her a lot of things. What it does is make her heart whole.

I adore my little sister and although I don't care what you call it (marriage, civil commitment) I believe with all my heart she has the human right to love and be committed to whomever she chooses. Just as I have the right. Californians should be ashamed. Americans should be ashamed but first and foremost the human race should be ashamed. Ashamed that instead of educating themselves they hide behind their fears and ignorance. It is time to stand up as a nation. Gay and straight and demand the human rights of everyone no matter their sexual preference.

I tried to embed the video but blogger hates me. Please. Follow the link.

~O~M~G~

I am going to have to sum my trip to Washington up in as few as words as possible. I don't want anyone to cry for me or worse yet die of laughter. I just can't be responsible for the demise of my very few readers. I mean, I need all of you!

Sunday night as I was arriving in the baggage claim area I realized I left my phone on the plane. OH SHIT! Please, please let no one have picked it up. My entire social life is contained in that phone. I wouldn't even be able to call my Mom without it. I have no memory (obviously! Duh!) so I don't know anyone's phone number. Luckily after pleading and offering up my first born (he is a teenager after all, easily disposable) I was able to get the baggage claim clerk to have someone bring my phone down. Sweet relief. I can have friends still. Thank goodness.

Oh wait...I have to tell you all who was on my flight. You are never going to believe it. This dude is AWESOME!! I mean awesome, the rock star of literature. Okay enough suspense. Garrison Keeler! Yep you heard me right! He is such an idol of mine. He kills me several times a week with his column in the paper. I totally had to control myself and not be super stalker fan. So I refrained from following him into first class, sitting on his lap and whispering in his ear "Garrison I love you". That would have been bad. Right??

Oh yeah, on with the story. So we leave the airport and head the hour and forty five minutes to my Dad's house. 15 minutes in I decide I am starved and have to eat. NOW! We whip into Wendy's drive thru. Dad shuts off the truck to order and then tries (tries being the operative word here) to restart the truck. Nothing. 3 fucking AM CST I am stuck in a Wendy's parking lot. It turns out his truck has some security feature and if you try to start it in neutral it locks up for an hour. Great.

2 hours after arriving at my Dad's apartment I have to be up and out the door to go pick my Grandma up for surgery. I am going to admit right here that this moment and one other are the only things that went right on this trip. When my Grandma saw me she burst into tears and kept muttering about how I was only this high when she last saw me and she didn't think she would ever see me on this side again. It was all very sweet. We got her off to her surgery. When we were leaving the hospital I gave her a pair of mittens that I bought at Walmart for 2 for a buck. One would have thought they were made out of gold and woven by the Pope. She oohed and awww'd over those gloves. It was very sweet.

Monday afternoon and evening was a flurry of packing and trailer loading. My Dad is super human pack rat man. Barely anything was packed so we had to work on that plus loading the trailer. Everything I wanted to put in a box had to be first examined and the story behind it told. Sigh. Thank God for my uncle Dick. I couldn't have maintained my sanity without him. He is the most awesome dude I have ever met. I love, love, love him! Did I mention it rained hard and half the state was flooding out? No? Yeah.

I did get to go on Tuesday night and have dinner with my cousin Ross and his wife Brenda. I really wish we would live closer. Ross is super cool and his wife is so funny and witty and beautiful. That dinner is the other highlight of this trip. None others. Understand?

I had planned to be on the road for the trip home by noon. Yeah fucking right. 6 effing 30 we rolled out. I got super sick a few miles out. Nothing good and I can't even relive the memory for you. I think it had to be all the rain and stress.

Thursday when we hit Montana we also hit the shittiest weather ever. Blizzards, blizzards everywhere. Somewhere in Montana we hit a patch of ice, spun the truck around on the freeway a few times and slammed the trailer into the side of the truck. Oh boy that was fun. :Insert big fat eye roll here:

Friday morning on the way into South Dakota we hit another blizzard and a 10-12 car accident. We were the last ones through before they closed the interstate. Finally Friday night after 50 hours and 7 count them 7 hours of sleep since Tuesday night we arrived home. Safe but stressed, tired, bitchy and happy as hell to hug my daughters.

Oh my daughters, I forgot to mention that Tuesday night Shawn called me in a panic and asked if a fever of over 104 was bad. Yes, why? Hannah needs to go to the ER then. OMG! I am half the fucking country away and cannot do A THING about it. Thank God for my Jill. Over and over she reminds me why I love her so much. She and J jumped in her car and braved shitty weather here in Minnesota to go sit with my husband and my daughter just to make me feel better. Hannah told me the next day she was so glad to have Cat with her because it made her feel better to have a girl there. Awwww!

Saturday was a tired cranky day of unloading the trailer all damn day long. Then Sunday I had to drive 8 (I wish I could scream that) hours to Wisconsin and back to deliver my Dad to his new job.

Thank God its a new week. Shawn and I dropped the U-haul off and spent the entire day together. I missed my husband and my kids and my cat and my turtles and my dogs and my fish but most of all I missed my bed.

The end.

That Damn Day

Have you ever had one of those days when it is 9:14 am and nothing is going right?

The filter in the coffee pot slid down, now I am drinking grinds. I love me a good cup of french roast Folgers with a package of french vanilla cappuccino dumped in. Actually it is more than just love. Be very afraid if you have to deal with me on a day I don't have my coffee.

Shawn is laid off and bored so I am being tortured by bad 80's movies. Oops I guess I shouldn't have complained. I am now being tortured by sports center. I don't know how much more of this I can take. 2 weeks of nothing but bad movies, sports center, constant channel flipping. We have DVR with a guide. Use it!! Not to even mention the sheer boredom he is living which causes him to pick at me like he is a 10 year old boy. My schedule is completely thrown off with him home all day which means I haven't gotten anything of substance done in weeks.

I will be on a plane in 12 hours and cannot bring myself to pack. I just can't. Its overwhelming me. I am so afraid I am going to forget something. Or put something in my carry on I'm not supposed to thus having to throw something expensive in the trash. Like my friend Holly ended up doing to a $25 tube of Clinique lip gloss. I am afraid my inhaler may get me in trouble and if I have to throw it away I won't be able to go lest I have an asthma attack and die.

Hopefully there won't be to much of a headache at the airport. I take off, fly and land with no problems, then I can enjoy a week of no husband, no sports center, no stupid movies, Starbucks coffee and my 90 some year old grandparents. Oh and the 1700 mile drive back across the country.

Lazy Saturday

I am bored out of my mind.

There is so much I could be doing.

Should be doing.

Like packing for my trip to Washington.

Or drinking a glass of wine.

Instead I am sitting here hooked on Pogo.

The kids are even quiet.

What the hell is going on with that?

Oh yeah, it is snowing. The white stuff sucks the life out of everything.

The Good Die Young

Today is the 15th anniversary of the death of the greatest man I never knew. My father in law Gene. Calling him my father in law seems somehow odd to me because for all purposes Shawn's step dad Chris is my father in law. The one I know anyway and I absolutely adore him.

Gene was killed when a woman pulled out in front of him on his motor cycle. The family was faced with the difficult decision to remove him from life support. I pray to God that is a decision I never have to make.

From the stories I hear at every family gathering Gene was as close to perfection as one can get. He didn't drink but he kept a case of beer, warm beer, in the cupboard for friends and family. He also kept a rag in the glove box of his car so he could buff away finger prints on the impeccably waxed paint surfaces of his car. His young brother in law once borrowed his Mustang to take to the prom. He totalled it. I hear varying stories of what happened to the brother in law but he is still alive and walking well so I don't know how much of those stories are true.

From what I hear when his kids would piss him off he would have a short temper tantrum and quickly recover as if nothing was ever said. Choosing instead to calm down and be rational about the problem. Shawn is very much the same way.

He died when he was 42 years old and was nearly bald and almost totally grey. Exactly like Shawn looks right now at the age of 35. From what the family says Shawn is his dad reincarnated.

I met Gene's best friend a few years back. I told him I was Gene's daughter in law. This man who was fighting one of the biggest fires this area has seen in ages stopped short, got a tear in his eye and hugged me. That speaks loudly to me of the lasting impact Gene had on his family and friends.

I have yet to hear a bad thing about this man. Surely there must have been something because he was human. He lived his life well. Worked hard. Loved his wife and his children and had beautiful friendships. I guess what they say is true. The good die young. I hope one day on the other side I will have the chance to meet this wonderful man and thank him for all he left behind.

If I were in charge....

If I were in charge of things this is how this political shit would go down.

No one would be allowed to announce they were running for president until one year before election Tuesday. They would have a month or two to make their case. The media would help them. I mean they decide for us anyway don't they?

The caucus would be a thing of the past. Same day primaries for every state. The winner of the popular vote is the parties nominee. No battling for months and months. You get one day. Take it or leave it.

The electoral college would be a thing of the past. The winner of the popular vote is the winner.

End of story.

PS Can you tell I am burnt out?

You have got to be kidding me!?!?

Oh I get it! She is like Jessica Simpson. She just "pretends" to be a flipping moron! Right? Right? Now one can be this dim, can they?

I'm sure most of you have heard about the Masked Avengers radio disc jokey's and the "prank" they pulled on Mrs. Dimwit, pretending to be Nicolas Sarkozy.


SP Assist = Sarah Palin’s AssistantMA = Masked AvengersSP = Sarah PalinFNS = Fake Nicolas Sarkozy

Ring
SP Assist: This is Betsy.
MA: Hello, Betsy. This is Frank l’ouvrier (Frank the worker], I’m with President Sarkozy, on the line for Governor Palin.
SP Assist: One second please, can you hold on one second please?
MA: No problem.
SP Assist: Hi, I’m going to hand the phone over to her.
MA: Okay thank you very much I’m going to put the president on the line.
SP Assist: Ok he’s coming to the line.
SP: This is Sarah.MA: Okay, Governor Palin?
SP: Hellloooo…(long drawn out, like Well, hellooooo)
MA: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.
SP [To someone in the room]: Oh, it’s not him yet, I always do that. I’ll just have people hand it to me right when it’s them.
FNS: Yes, hello, Governor Palin? Yes, hello, Mrs. Governor?
SP: Hello this is Sarah., how are you?
FNS: Fine, and you, this is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
SP: Oh…so good, it’s so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.
FNS: Oh, it’s a pleasure.
SP: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you and thank you for spending a few minutes to talk to me.
FNS: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American Advisor Johnny Hallyday (a French singer), you know?
SP: Yes! Good!
FNS: Excellent! Are you confident?
SP: Very confident and we’re thankful that the polls are showing that the race is tightening and–
FNS: Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now my dear?
SP: Ah, I feel so good. I feel like we’re in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon, you get your second wind and you plow to the finish—
FNS: You see, I got elected in France because I’m real and you seem to be someone who’s real as well.
SP: Yes, yeah, Nicolas, we so appreciate this opportunity.
FNS: You know, I see you as a president, one day, you too.
SP: [Muahaaa...weird laugh], maybe in 8 years. Haha
FNS: Well, ah, I hope for you. You know we have a lot in common because personally one of my favorite activities is to hunt too.
SP: [Giggle]o h very good, we should go hunting together.
FNS: Exactly! We could go try hunting by helicopter, like you did, I never did that.
SP: [Giggle]
FNS: Like we say in France, “on pourrait tuer des bébés phoques aussi” [Translation: We could also kill some baby seals.
]SP: [Giggle] Well I think we could have a lot of fun together as we’re getting work done, we can kill two birds with one stone that way.
FNS: I just love killing those animals. Mm, mm. Take away a life, that is so fun!
SP: [Hahahaha]
FNS: I’d really love to go as long as we don’t bring your Vice president Cheney, hahaha.
SP: No, I’ll be a careful shot, yes.
FNS: You know we have a lot in common also except that from my house [Note: This sounds somewhat like 'ass', with the accent, but I believe it's house, without the h, which is how the speaker says most of his 'h' words] I can see Belgium. That’s kind of less interesting than you.
SP: Well, see, we’re right next door to other countries that we all need to be working with, yes.
FNS: Some people said in the last days, and I thought that was mean, that you weren’t experienced enough in foreign relations, and you know, that’s completely false, that’s the thing I said to my great friend, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stef Carse [Stephen Harper is the PM].
SP: Well, he’s doing fine, too, and yeah when you come into a position underestimated, it gives you the opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder-
FNS: I, I was wondering because you are also next to him, one of my good friends, also, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr. Richard Z. Sirois [a famous Quebec radio host], have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?SP: Uh, haven’t seen him at one of the rallies, but it’s been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as governor; we have a great cooperative effort there as we work on all of our resource development projects. You know I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife, oh my goodness, you’ve added a lot of energy to your country, even, with that beautiful family of yours.
FNS: Thank you very much. You know my wife, Carla, would love to meet you. You know even though she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today. [Hahahaha]SP: [Hahahha] Well give her a big hug from me.
FNS: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she’s so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.SP: Oh my goodness! I didn’t know that.
FNS: Yes, in French, it’s called Du rouge à lèvres sur une cochonne [Translate: Lipstick on a smutty girl (note: I've seen other sites that say this translates to lipstick on a sow)] or if you prefer in English Joe the Plumber, [sings] It’s his life, Joe the Plumber…”SP: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism like
FNS: I just want to be sure, I don’t’ quite understand the phenomenon “Joe the Plumber,” that’s not your husband, right?SP: Mmhmm, that’s into my husband but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.
FNS: Yes, yes, I understand, we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France, it’s called, “Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit, oui.”SP: Right. That’s what it’s all about, is the middle class, and government needing to work for them. You’re a very good example for us here.
FNS: I seen a bit about NBC even Fox News wasn’t an ally, an ally, sorry, about as much as usual.SP: Yeah that’s what we’re up against.
FNS: I must say, Governor Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life, you know, Hustler’s “Nailin Palin.”SP: Oh, good, thank you. Yes.
FNS: That was really edgy.SP: [Laughs] Well good.
FNS: I really love you. And I must say something, so, Governor, you’ve been pranked.By the Master Avengers. We’re two comedians from MontrealSP: Oohhh have we been pranked? And what radio station is this? [tries to force herself to sound nice but you can tell she’s pissed]
FNS: This is for CKOI in Montreal.SP: In Montreal? Tell me the radio station call letters[SP leaves phone, continuous griping in background, sounds like, "For chrissakes...that was ??? Just a radio station prank...chrissakes..."]
MA: Hello? If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change the world for McCain.[Man’s voice in background: hang up, hang up.]SP Assist: Hi, I’m sorry, I have to let you go. Um, thank you.

Super duper sucky trip to the ER

I generally try not to write much about my kids. I just don't like to to it. They deserve some privacy. Today I am going to break that rule. They have so much going on that I need to purge. Maybe if I write about it I can get some perspective on things.

Last night was like every other night around here. I had just read Hannah a bed time story, given her a nebulizer treatment and cough syrup when the shit hit the fan. She has asthma that is brought on when she has even the smallest of colds. She was completely fine during the story, helping me read the whole thing. Then she started barking like a seal. I had already given her one neb since she has a cold. I didn't want this to get out of hand. Uh huh. I wrapped her up in a blankie and took her outside thinking the cool air would help with the croup. It did not. If anything it just made things worse.

I woke Shawn up and told him I was taking her to the ER. She could not catch a breath for anything and I was seriously afraid she would pass out before we got there. I have never, ever been so afraid and full of panic in my life. I have asthma and took more than one trip to the ER in my childhood. I know what it feels like when you cannot catch a breath and I know how scary it is. Normally when one of the kids has to go to the ER I take them myself, last night I was so afraid for Hannah I made Shawn drive.

When we walked in I told the nurse at the front desk she was having an asthma attack. We were taken immediately to a room and a doctor met us as we were walking in. That freaked me out a bit. They hooked her up to the vitals machine and had her on a epi neb before they even got her name. The doctors and nurses there did a fantastic job with her and with her panicked parents. I was impressed.

She had some xrays and blood work to determine she didn't have pneumonia and was given different steroid treatments to build her lungs back up. As soon as she was feeling better she started acting punchy. Teasing the doctor and nurses and acting like her silly self. The lab lady gave her a stuffed duck named Webby. Her and the lab tech decided it was a dumb name and should be changed. Her name is Trisha now. She was also given a stuffed Kung Fu Panda doll by the nurse. He was allowed to keep his name. She also informed Shawn that he would be sleeping on the couch because she was sleeping with me in our bed. She did end up with us, Shawn didn't end up on the couch but the only one that got any sleep last night was Hannah.

I kept her home from school today so I could keep an eye on her. These children. I just don't know if I will make it through their childhoods in one piece.

Obama Tax Calculator Widget

Funny Turtles

Since Miss Fate is a wild girl I try and hold her often to get her used to being handled. When she is larger I want to be able to handle her without her razor claws ripping my hand open. Crazy I know.
Anyway, I took her out a bit ago to play with her. The second I removed her from the aquarium Turts started swimming around looking behind trees, nosing all the hiding places looking for his girl.
The entire time I was playing with her he was having a panic attack. The second I put her back in her swam up to her, put his face right against hers and pawed her pack. Soooo cute! I am so glad I rescued her. He is definitely smitten!

We got spirit yes we do, we got spirit how 'bout you? Nope not so much

When I was a young pup I lived for cheerleading (and dance but that can be its own post and is quite irrelevant for this topic). Recently my family and I attended our towns Homecoming game. Immediately I looked for the cheerleaders. They are my favorite part of any game or sport from football to wrestling. I getting caught up in the memories of my own rah rahs, high kicks, pyramids and the pure rush of adrenaline. I didn't see any cheerleaders. What? How can that be? All I saw was a cheesy tiger mascot who was trying rather unsuccessfully to rally the crowd. Booo! Give me the short skirts and pony tails!

I started asking around. Does BP have a cheer squad? Nope, we haven't had one in any ones recent memory. Not for at least 10 years or so. How in the hell can that be? Does our school, our town not have any spirit? The opposing team had a whole squad of bouncing, yelling, clapping , pom pom shaking spirit makers. Ooooh I was on a mission.

It has always been my dream my daughters would become cheerleaders when they hit middle school and compete when they were in high school. No such luck unless I do something. So I plan to do something. I have been drafting a letter to the Superintendent of our schools. I plan to offer to organize, fund raise and coach our town into some team spirit.

A school with no cheer squad is like cereal with no milk, Ren with no Stimpy, cable without Tivo, peanut butter without jelly...you get the idea.

Soon I hope our town can reply HELL YES WE DO!!

SNL Palin Rap

one two three
My name is Sarah Palin you all know me,
Vice president nominee of the GOP
Gonna need your vote in the next election
Can I get a “what what” from the senior section
McCain got experience, McCain got style
But don’t let him freak you out when he tries to smile
Cause that smile be creepy
But when I be vp
All the leaders in the world gonna finally meet me
How’s it go Eskimo
Eskimos
Tell me what you know Eskimo
Eskimos
How you feel Eskimo
Ice cold
Tell me tell me what you feel Eskimo
Super cold
I’m Jeremiah Wright cause tonight I’m the preacha’
I got a bookish look and you’re all hot for teacha’
Todd lookin fine on his snow machine
So hot, boy gonna need a go-between
In Wasilla we just chill baby chilla
But when I see oil, let’s drill baby drill
My country tis of thee
From my porch I can see
Russia and such
All the mavericks in the house put your hands up
All the mavericks in the house put your hands up
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up
When I say ‘Obama’ you say ‘Ayers’
Obama. Ayers.
Obama. Ayers.
I built me a bridge - it ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Ohhh
McCain, Palin, gonna put the nail in the coffin
Of the media elite
She likes red meat
Shoot a mull humpin’ moose, eight days of the week [gunshots]
Now ya dead, now ya dead
Cause I’m an animal, and I’m bigger than you
Holdin a shotgun walk in the pub
Everybody party, we’re goin on a hunt
la la la la la la la la [gunshots]
Yo Palin, I’m out!

A few thoughts on Faith

Last night while I was driving home from dropping my Dad at the airport I was sucked into a deep conversation within my own brain. A conversation with the 8 year old me and the 33 year old me. We debated how differently my life might have turned out had my parents stayed together all those years ago. If my Dad could have just had some control over the crippling PTSD brought on from memories of Vietnam.

He is a rock now. Controlled, wonderful, full of advice and love. Not so much back then. For reasons unknown to me, although he was still involved in my life after the divorce he wasn't central in it. I saw him often, then occasionally, then less and less, then not for years at a time. Bitter divorce, distance and an aging daughter are probably the culprits there.

My Mother was exhausted when it came to raising us. I am sure she did her best and to this day I adore my Mother but I have to be honest, it was half assed at best. We all ran over her like she was a rug. 4 out of 5 children didn't graduate high school. I had a baby at 16. She clung to my sister until she decided to grow wings and move out at the age of 23. Mom was lonely, tired and spineless when it came to rearing 5 children.

I wonder how differently things may have turned out for any one of us had they remained together. I know I would have never been allowed to run around the town like a hoodlum, nor have sex, nor give up on high school. My Dad would have never heard of it. I have grown up and made it okay. I have some college education and a shit pile of life education. I made it out okay. I was not doomed to be a welfare Mom like so many teenage mothers are.

I still have to ponder though, how would it have been different? The 8 year old me has some ideas of her own. The 33 year old me isn't so sure.

Hello Blogger!

Now that I am here I guess it is time to say hello. Update this thing a bit. I haven't posted anything at AOL in a looooooong time!

So, Hello Blogger! I really hope I can figure this out.

Now on to things......

My Dad is visiting here from Washington. He is planning to move out here to be closer to the grandkids. We spent this week looking at TONS of homes. Finally made an offer last night. I really hope everything works out!

2 weeks ago my princess turned 9. I swear they HAVE to stop growing. I miss the baby stages. The cute cuddly need Mommy stage. Now all she needs is Mommy to drive her around and buy groceries!

That's about it for now. I will get back into the swing of things soon and write something really worth reading. Promise!