This afternoon Bean got back from a visit to the water park with her very best friend in the world. Because I missed her so very much I took her through the drive thru at McDonald's for an ice cream treat. They have always given Pip a dog treat. It has gotten to the point as soon as we pull up to the menu to order he goes insane. This dog will bark and snap at anything that moves, except anyone in a McDonald's uniform. They have the magic potion that turns the little guy into a well behaved puppy. Dog treats! Today he let the guy at the window pet him for a full five seconds before he growled at him. To reward his good behavior the nice man in the window gave Pipper his very own baby cone! He was in doggie heaven! I fear now that any future ice creams I want to treat myself with will be quickly attacked by the world's worst dog.He licked away every last speck of ice cream. Mean Mommy I am though I didn't allow him to eat the cone. Too much sugar for the little guy.
In the last installment of this blog we learned about how naughty Pip the puppy is. That hasn't changed a bit. People are always asking how Pip is and want stories about him. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because they can't believe one dog could be so bad and still be so loved. Maybe they just want to laugh at me!
Pip is unusually inquisitive. I am convinced he understands every word of what we say and I'm convinced he thinks he's a real human boy instead of a naughty little terrier. I just watched him for nearly 10 minutes watch a ladybug. He kept turning his head sideways, whine and nose at this poor ladybug who only wanted to crawl across the sun warmed glass in peace. This is the sort of thing he does all the time. He doesn't get bored easily if something catches his attention. He spends his time trying to figure out what everything is and how it works.
He especially wants to know why the cat doesn't love him and doesn't want to cuddle or wrestle with him. He tries to share his rope with the cat but Linus wants know part of that. I can't tell you how many times a day I yell for Pip to leave the kitty alone. Even more time is spent actually separating them.
Pip also has this thing with submissive urination that is just so annoying. There is no rhyme or reason to it either. No one know what will bring it on. Sometimes it's excitement. That I can understand. He even has a bandana that says I'm so excited I could pee. Often times someone will lean down to pet him and he'll roll onto his back and start spraying everywhere like a newborn boy with no diaper on. Now believe me when I tell you this dog has never been beaten. He is spoiled rotten and is more kid than dog. I have no idea what he is afraid is going to happen when someone reaches to pat him on the top of the head.
He would do anything for a treat and I mean anything. We can't even say the word treat in this house unless we are prepared to give him one. We are often reduced to spelling the word and when he learns how to spell we are all screwed! The treat thing started when we were potty training him. Scratch on the door, go out and go potty, come back in and get a treat! Great idea until he tried scratching at the door, running out on the deck, turning around and coming right back in and sitting pretty for a treat. No pal, sorry. Now when we go for a car ride he runs in when we get home and sits pretty for a treat. I guess just being allowed to go bye-bye isn't treat enough for my little man. He does so many amazing things a day that he often has treat overload. He doesn't want to eat them but he wants us to give them to him anyway. This has resulted in treats as toys! He throws them all over the living room and pounces on them like they're trying to get away. Heaven forbid someone try to actually make a move towards his treat. He does what any good terrorist does and annihilates his enemy.
He has a memory that won't quit. Unfortunately. He likes to throw his toys under the furniture and hunt them back out. I get that, it's like a dog burying a bone and then digging it back up. It's a treasure to find. Too bad I don't like him digging at my carpet. When everyone gets tired of retrieving his toys from him they throw it up on top of the book shelf. An out of sight, out of mind theory. Except he will sit and whine until someone gets him a toy. I told the kids to stop putting them up there because he gets bored and goes to the bookshelf and whines. I can't take it anymore! We haven't put the toys up there for a few weeks. He still sits there and whines for them. Even after you lift him up and show him there is nothing there.
Last crazy dog thing I want to share today is how much he "talks". I read that Rat Terrorists Terriers will do this but I thought how bad can it really be? Bad I tell you! Hubby was laughing at us the other day. Pip was sitting beside my chair "talking" to me. I would yowl the same noise back at him and he would answer with a different tone. It appeared we were having a real conversation. I finally told hubby that I really wished I knew what we were talking about. I hope I didn't promise to give the cat away.
Time dulls but never takes away the pain. The other day I had a note that said "remember those you love who are gone, hold their memory close". Doing that today, and every day. Missing you always.
I have, what can only be described as, the world’s
worst dog. Luckily for him he is also the world’s most adorable dog. I’ve been
told more than once I should write a book about his misadventures. I’ll settle
on a blog post for now.
I’ve chronicled here how Pip came to be
in our possession, or rather we came to be in his possession because, let’s
face it, he owns us. Ask him, or anyone else who may have made the little
monsters acquaintance, they’ll tell you. He runs the show around these parts.
He barks and these humans do his bidding.
Pip has this obnoxious habit, which I can only assume
he inherits from the terrier blood, of putting whatever he is chewing on at the
time underneath the furniture. When he was a baby it was adorable because he
could fit under the bookshelf or the television stand and retrieve his toy.
Now, he can only bark and dig at my carpet until we’ve finally had enough and
retrieve his toy for him. After two or three or one time of this we’ve had
enough and take his toys away. This leads him to wander off in search of some
other entertainment. That is usually a pair of underwear that he chews and then
hides in his den, errr under my bed. Sometimes he finds less personal things to
chew on and eats the eyes off a stuffed animal a young girl has saved her money
to purchase from the American Girl Doll store or a pair of mittens in the shape
of an animal. That leads me to have several hours of wondering if this will be
the time whatever he ate decides to get caught up in his intestines and cause
us to spend the monthly grocery budget on a trip to the emergency vet.
Pip was becoming a very naughty little boy who had to
spend several hours every day running around the yard peeing on all the trees
and bushes and stray toys so that every other dog who lives in the neighborhood
knew this was his territory. He also had a nasty habit of trying to eat anyone
who dared make the unforgivable mistake of trying to visit any of his people.
It was time for the big snip snip. After a few days of babying the baby he was
back up and running. It didn’t seem to slow him down in the least. He was so
insane still that he broke his cone of shame and had to have it removed a few
days early. He would just smash into the walls or the back of our legs like he
didn’t have the thing on. It was the oddest thing. Our bushes are happy to
report they are urine free but our friends will tell you he still tries to eat
them. I’ve had to resort to arming people with treats when they come in as an
offering to the evil ruler Pippen.
Then there’s the order of the pack thing that I swear
we’ve never had to deal with until now. All these dogs we’ve had over the years
know their place but this one thinks we should know our place. In his world the
leader of the pack as me, I rule the world. He thinks he shares the second spot
with the rest of the family except Bean. He clearly rules her. She walks
through the house and he bites her ankles. She tries to correct him and he snaps
at her. Heaven forbid she tries to take him out to go potty. The few times she
tried I had to go bring him back from the neighbor’s yard. This is a situation
that we have to work on. Obviously the kids is higher up in the pack than the
cat, even the cat gets more respect than Bean does!
All of these things would lead you to ask yourself why
we haven’t sent him packing. I’ll tell you why, I’m afraid he’d find us and
kill us all in our sleep. I kid. I think. Really, he is so cute. That’s what
keeps him alive most days. In the morning he doesn’t want to go out until he’s
had his daily snuggle. He spends a good 15 minutes every morning begging me to
rub his belly and covering my face with sweet doggy kisses. Then there is the
afternoon nap that he must spend on my lap. Whenever I speak to him he cocks
his head to the side in an attempt to tell me he hears me and knows exactly
what I’m saying to him. I could go on and on about what a cutie he is but I don’t
want you getting sick and quite frankly a naughty dog is more fun to read
about. I’ve always been a cat person but there is something about this little
guy that has completely turned my world upside down. I’d take ten more just
like him. I’ll let you know when I plan to get them so you can buy stock in
Victoria’s Secret.
