Redo

I had such high hoped for 2008. It had to be better than last year. Right? Right? Well a whole month in it just doesn't seem to be.
The kids, Shawn and I have been passing around illness after illness. I may just have to buy stock in Lysol. It's seriously insane. Matthew spent the entire week home from school this past week. He has always been so healthy. Germs! Ugh. I still have a lingering cough, now Hannah seems to be coming down with something. I can't wait for spring.
With all this illness and lack of energy I feel like a crappy parent. It's hard to give your all to the kids when you feel like you are barely alive. Then Ed is on a roll again. He had a shitty childhood. My fault. I am tired of feeling guilty about it. I did what I could. He wasn't neglected or abused. He wasn't raised in poverty. He has 2 parents that love him and try their best. I really just can't worry about it anymore. I am tired of having a heartache about it.
My personal life is in the tubes. Really. It is just more than I can handle. I have been on the verge of tears for days. If someone looks at me wrong it's going to be my downfall. I am just a pathetic mess. But enough whining.
I am blessed. I have fabulous kids, terrific, wonderful, amazing, intelligent little beings whom are the source of everything good that has ever happened in my life. I have a husband whom although we have our differences, is amazing. He works hard to take care of all of us and I need to stop noticing the small things and focus on the important things. I have awesome siblings. I mean really awesome. I love them beyond belief, even when we have our differences. I love my parents. I have a lot of great people in my life. Forget about our colds and stuff, we are all healthy. We have enough of the things we need.
Yep, I am blessed. The rest is a bump in the road.