Monday, February 6, 2006


I have sat down here to write several times since my last entry. I just can't get my groove back. The words all just seem hollow. Losing Scott seems so surreal to me. I said I was just going to pretend he wasn't returning my calls, I was half joking. I don't think it has sunk in yet that he really gone. I was thinking back today on all the memories I have of Scott. Nearly every memory I have of him was a fun or funny one. Those are what will help me move on. He lived a full life in his 35 years. Here are a few of those memories.

The first time I ever met him I wasn't impressed. He was loud, obnoxious and cocky. I flat out told him to stay away from my sister because I thought he was a freak! I don't even think I was that nice about it. I think I called him a pedaphile or something. (Poor Scott I was such a bitch. How we become such wonderful friends from there is a mystery). Little did I know that about a year later I would be trying to hook them up. I was eternally trying to hook him up. When I called he would immediately ask who the victim was this time. I know he loved it and I knew if any girl could get past the first date with him and see what a sweet heart he was I knew that she would be one lucky girl.

My sister came out for a visit so I called Scott up to take her out and keep her entertained for an afternoon. That afternoon turned to midnight when I had to call them to find out where they were. They were at a go-kart track. That would be just about both of there style. I don't think they had any romantic interests in each other. I think he viewed her as my kid sister and nothing more. That is a good thing. I am just happy my sister got to meet him.

Next I tried to hook him up with my girlfriend Heather. Oh what a funny calamity that was. They are the two most opinionated people I know. Nonetheless we had a great evening playing cards and drinking beer. We sent the guys out at 2 am for Taco Bell. They came back with more food than we could ever eat. There we sat eating tacos, drinking beer, laughing and playing cards. You can't get moments like that back.

I tried to fix him up with a girl named Tamara that I worked with. He was smitten. We double dated there first date. We went out dancing at a bar. Neither Shawn or Tamara dance, Scott and I tore up the dance floor. I remember us dancing to the cha-cha slide. Neither of us knowing what we were doing but giving it our best drunken try. We may not have been good but we were funny.  We always had fun. I know they dated a few more times after that. I don't know what ever happened to her.

In the end he ended up with a girl I had nothing to do with and didn't even like. She wasn't fun. Scott had a way of seeing the good in everyone. I now he really loved April and I am so happy for him that he found true love. Everyone should find there one true love in life.

These are moments that I will never get back with Scott but memories I will always hold close to my heart. I just hope that when my time here has ended, I will get to watch all of my memories unfold as if they were video taped. I am sure time spent with Scott will be among the most watched and some of my favorite.

With that I will let my memories of Scott rest. Hopefully one day I will be able to pull them out, dust them off and bask in the sunshine of them without the chill of missing him so much as I do now.


randlprysock February 8, 2006 at 8:45 AM  

This entry is just wonderful, filled with lovely memories of your dear Scott.  I admire that you are a person who has a lot of fun and spunk in your life no matter what you are doing and that is a wonderful trait.  I long for more carefree days of yesteryear when I went out dancing.  Motherhood sure does keep us busy.  Wouldn't it be nice if we had more time for dancing?  I'm still thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers with this terrible loss.  Hold onto those memories and hang in there.  Hugs,

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