In Your Face...

Generally I try to avoid the news because of my new found anxiety disorder. Not having the news on 24/7 is definitely new to me, I used to be a complete news junkie. There was rarely a news story I hadn't heard. Not anymore. Now the news induces panic. I cannot bare to hear about all the misery in the world. All of those horrible things could happen to me or worse my children. Seeing a story makes my mind wander into dangerous territory so for my own sanity I have started avoiding it.

This morning was different. I was flipping through channels and came across Good Morning America's coverage of a boy who was lit on fire by several other kids for ratting one of them out to the police for theft. The story made me literally ill. It started with feeling nauseous and ended with me sitting in bed with tears rolling down my face. What kind of animals could set another child on fire? What is wrong with this world?

The young boys name was Michael and my tendency to put myself into every tragedy reared its ugly head. My stillborn son's name was Michael. Matthew's twin. The Michael on tv had beautiful blond hair and piercing blue eyes. Just like my Matthew and what my Michael would have looked like. My mind wandered from there.

So, what I am struggling with internally is do I force myself to watch the news and feel all the horrible emotions and anxiety that sit right under the surface or do I tune out, bury my head in the sand and pretend the world around me is a safe place where no evil or tragedy comes to anyone? Is this 24 hour in your face news healthy for the human race or can our minds only process small amounts. Suffering has happened for the ages but it wasn't always a click away. Has that skewed our perception of life and our place in this world?

Deep thoughts for a Wednesday.

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerindex?id=9172454

Studio News!!

Some big things are going on in my life right now and I am super excited!!
I have decided to build a small studio in the downstairs of my house! Yesterday I ordered lights, 2 new lenses and some other techie camera stuff! We drew up plans for building a half wall to keep the kids and the dog out of my area.
Exciting stuff!! Now I need to go find some backgrounds.
I should be open for sessions in a few weeks and I will be running some fabulous deals.
Like I said, I am beyond excited to get rolling with this!!

A few weeks ago the kids and I were at Walmart picking up some groceries when I made the mistake of walking in front of some bitch while she was trying to decide exactly what kind or Oreo's she wanted. I walked passed her a bit and stopped to grab something (not Oreo's). She walked passed me and started grumbling to her husband about some people needing to learn some consideration. I did what any hot blooded blond woman would do. I turned to her and said "Really lady? Really? What the hell is your problem?" Her husband made a bee line to the end of the aisle as soon as I opened my mouth. He knew he wanted no part of me! Ha!

Just moments ago the girls were arguing and one says to the other..."Really lady? Really?" Doh! Right then and there I proclaimed myself mother of the year. My award is in the mail and should be delivered in 6-8 weeks....

Over The Top? Me? Well, Thank You!!

So you wanna know what is really awesome??
Here I am researching my little heart out, trying to figure out the importance of adjusting the resolution of an image and using the correct color profile when printing. When my little email sound thing goes bing alerting me to an email. Of course I clicked right over to see what could be so important (and well looking for an excuse to not do the research). I had an email from Joanie letting me know that she left something for me on her blog .YAY!! I love presents!!
This is what I got!

The rules are as follows.....

~Answer the questions below using only one word (it's harder than it seems!)
~Thank the blogger who gave it to you (See above)
~Pass it on to 6 of your favorite bloggers (See below)

So here goes... Joanie you rock!! Muchas Gracias! If you all don't read her, why the hell not? You are missing out on one of the funniest, classiest, strongest, hard working women in the world. Get your asses over there!


So, on with the questions:

1. Where is your cell phone? Right behind me on the counter.
2. Your hair? depends what color I have my hairdresser color it. Usually blonde

3. Your mother? Awesome
4. Your father? Near
5. Your favorite food? Mexican
6. Your dream last night? I don't remember
7. Your favorite drink? Dr. Pepper

8. Your dream/goal? Right now, to be done with school and making some money from my photography
9. What room are you in? dining room
10. Your hobby? photography, crocheting, playing pogo, hopelessly addicted to facebook, procrastinating
11. Your fear? one of my kids dying or being badly hurt.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? RICH!! Okay just doing better because the economy is better.
13. Where were you last night? home hungover.

14. Something you aren't? meek or quiet
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. Wish list item? a really kick ass lens, studio lights, misc. camera gear.
17. Where did you grow up? Wyoming
18. Last thing you did? Research then procrastination
19. What are you wearing? sweats
20. Your TV? 50 in samsung
21. Your pets? Mine? Turts and Fate. Everyone else's. Linus, Deeogee, Clara

22. Your friends? scattered about!
23. Your life? stressful
24. Your mood? stressed out about homework
25. Missing someone? always miss my Mom.
26. Vehicle? Saturn that I want to get rid of
27. Something you're not wearing? bra
28. Your favorite store? there are waaaay to many to name
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? Friday. That bitch.
32. Your best friend? Catherine Nicole.
33. One place that I go over and over? school
34. One person who emails me regularly? facebook notifications LOL

35. Favorite place to eat? Lira's and Papa Chuy's

Now I have to give this away?? Dangit! Only 6??
So the award is called over the top so I am going to choose by who's blogs I think are over the top.
Number one is Zipbag of Bones. If she were not my best friend and I didn't know her well I would think she took a lot of drugs before she posted.

Number two is Mayhem and Magic. Melissa and I have been friends for more than 8 years. She is over the top in a great sort of way!

Third is Better Terms. I have been reading Lisa since I first jumped into this blog game waaaaaay back in the AOL journals days. Lisa is everything I used to want to be in my past life before I changed dreams mid way. She owns a cafe and has my very same political views. How could I not love her?

Four is Nine Peas in A pod. I don't even know how I found Deb or how long ago but she has quickly become one of my favorite reads. She just married a hot guy and inherited a bunch more kids. She is like Super Woman.

Five is Shooting with Slinky. Lenora is one of my favorite photographers. Her images are hugely inspirational for me and I often tell people when I grow up I want to be as good at it as she is.

Last but not least is Sapphire Springs. Formally known as Lunatic Factory. I think Kate's blog is the first one I ever read. She like me is nutso in love with her cats and one of her favorite little dude's in the whole world is named Talan.