Sunday, March 28, 2010

'Mater



My husband is super gardener. I think it may be the only thing in life he truly enjoys besides hunting. Every year he tends to get a jump on starting the garden way to early. He tills in February if we have no snow. Okay, that's probably an exaggeration. Definitely March though. This year he decided to start his plants indoors the beginning of February.

He just asked me if I thought 17 tomato plants are to many. Lord help us all, we still have whole tomatoes in the freezer from last summers garden and that was only 5 plants. Hope the neighbors are prepared to have enough tomatoes to can with.



Hannah in the prized garden.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Facebook


Did you know....that my photos are on facebook? Lots more photos than I have the time or patience to post here. Photos of people and animals and floods and buildings. Lots and lots of photos. Why aren't you a fan? You would see stuff like this......

Become a fan!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Nothin'


So it's been 3 weeks and a few days since I haven't smoked. Mind boggling to me. It has been much easier than I ever imagined. I've made it through a blow out with my husband, a drunken attack by a friend and a bunch of smaller things and haven't caved. I am well aware that I am minutes away from caving at any given time and that's the craving I fight.

For quite some time a major source of stress between my husband and I was my supreme unhappiness at being any where but home near my family. It has been at the root of every major fight we have ever had and the source of any and all depression I've ever had. I have bitched and moaned and complained since the day we moved here that I hate it here and I want to go home. I have given it plenty of time and opportunity and I have tried to be happy here and for a time I was. For about 4 years we had friends that felt like family and I was truly happy here. They moved, others moved, I tried but eventually started hating this place again. Winter, coupled with quitting smoking, Shawn being laid off again and a bunch of other things brought that familiar homesick feeling back to the surface.
In the past when I tried to discuss these feelings with my husband I was met with reasons we can't leave. Reasons why he won't leave and most of the time he flat out pretended he was deaf when I would bitch. Something was much different this time though. I put my feelings out there, he put his feelings out there and he agreed we could go back. I know we can't. We have far too many responsibilities here but it is nice to have him understand how I feel instead of making excuses. It is amazing how much lighter my heart feels.
Now if I could make a decision about the other thing that is weighing heavily on my mind I might be completely free and breezy. That is a feeling I could live with!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

2 weeks and a question

I have been smoke free for 2 weeks!

Things I like about not smoking....

The smell of things. I can smell so many things now that I couldn't before.
Not smelling bad! My hair smells so yummy and so does my pillow.
Breathing easier.
All the extra money I don't notice I have. Seriously. How did afford cigarettes? There doesn't seem to be one extra dime in the checking account.
Did I mention the smells?

Things I miss about smoking...

My sanity. Has anyone seen my sanity?
The ability to make it through the day without tears.
Having something to do. I am so bored. What do I do with all the time I spent smoking?


My question for my readers that have quit smoking...did you fall into a crushing depression? I feel so out of sorts. Sad. Full of hate. Hopeless. Blech. This is so not me.
I don't even know if the two have anything to do with each other. The timing just seems to be there. The thing is I have no desire to smoke at all. I have very few cravings. I truly feel done and I feel happy about that so why the depression? Cabin fever? Any thoughts anyone?

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I am Mom to 4 of the most kick ass kids ever! I learn shenanigans from them every day.

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