When it rains, it literally rains. (Also see "Oh Shit")

So you know people say God won't give you more than you can handle? I have said that many times myself. Well hello God. I may be at my limit.


Early Friday morning I was drove the kids to school. Stopped briefly to have a conversation with another Mom about where I bought Hannah's Skecher boots and where she could get her daughter some. Hannah had the boots last year. Some people have a good memory. I apparently don't. Turns out I can't remember to turn a heater on.


I decided to stop at my Dad's new house that he just closed on last Wednesday. Check the mail, make sure everything was okay. He is a long haul trucker and all these new chores have fallen on me. Only I suck.


I walked up the sidewalk and noticed the glass on the door had a bunch of condensation on it. I remember wondering why, then I walked in. I am really a ditz. I noticed several boxes were askew on the kitchen floor and wondered if someone had broke in. I stepped back a few steps thinking maybe someone was in the house. That was when it hit me, the thunderous roar of water pouring from the ceiling. Not a drip, drip, drip. A thunderous roar. Enough water to float several boxes full of kitchen appliances across the kitchen floor. I ducked through the water and walked into the living room where there was even more water pouring out of the light fixture in that room. Lovely, just lovely.

Time to back it up a few days, Wednesday Shawn and I went over to the house to put plastic on the windows. Apparently super old houses need that. I am not well versed with super old houses. Obviously. The kids pointed out the ice in the sink and toilet. Oops. I guess in the transfer from seller to buyer no one thought to turn up the heat. So we just did it. Never once thinking frozen pipes burst when heated. Once again, never had to worry about that before. I am just getting a well rounded education.

Ok back to Friday. I immediately ran to my car to get my phone. Fuck! Shawn's phone is dead and going right to voicemail. So, I have to speed home to get Shawn and explain the problem. Did you shut the water off he asks? Do I know how to do that? Seriously? I could do it here at my own house but not at a house recently purchased and built in 1930!

The entire day was just a calamity, really, I swore I had to be on candid camera because shit like this does not happen to people. Seriously. I called the insurance company. Less than 2 hours later the adjuster called back to deny the claim? Huh? Wanna think about it first? In the mean time I had already called a water restoration team out. Thanks for showing up guys but the insurance won't pay you. What do you charge? $3000 for some fans! Are you serious? Really. Where is that camera? Shawn and I decided we would just clean the shit up ourselves. You know, turn up the heat to a billion degrees, turn on the fans, stuff like that. After 8 hours dealing with water we headed home.

Saturday morning a friend met us over there to help remove an antique built in cabinet from the kitchen so we could get the soaked linoleum up before it warped the hard woods underneath that we wanted to restore. Ha ha! You silly girl. Rip up 4 layers of linoleum. The stuff laid in 1930, then 1950, then 1970 then sometime in the 90's. At least they were consistent. New linoleum every 20 years. Underneath all those layers of linoleum was the most rotted out nastiest smelling hard wood floors I have ever seen. Holy shit. So much for restoring those. We got the cabinet out only to discover the walls were so wet they crumbled when you touched them. We spent another 8 hours demolishing the walls, floors and ceiling. Also an entire demolition of the bathroom which was also soaked. So after 16 hours of work all we had was a big mess, a ton of stress on how this would be paid for and sore muscles from all the work. But alas my stress level isn't even close to being maxed out yet.

Saturday night around 11:30 I get a call from Ed's friend Michael's Mom. Ed was goofing off and cut himself, he just passed out in the bathroom and needs stitches. Not exactly what I wanted to hear after the 2 days I had just dealt with. 7 stitches and several hours at the ER later we are on our way out. Did I mention the kid doesn't have insurance. Its a whole other story so add to my stress the cost of an ER visit. Are you feeling it yet?? We aren't even done yet. It gets so much better.

Sunday morning my Dad got to town. I was stressed about his reaction to seeing what we had done to his house. If he was pissed he hid it well but now I have the mother of all sinus infections. Shit! I had planned to spend the entire day making Christmas cookies and candy with the kids. I had to cut out for a several hour long nap to try and rid myself of the headache. My husband stepped in. Sometimes I love that man, sometimes. I think after dealing with my Dad's house and helping the kids with baking and homework this week I may just reward him with that Crash Bandicoot game he wants.

Monday I had a lady parts appointment and sang the praises of YAZ to my doctor. He has no real idea what I would do without my non crazy pills in this situation. I got a flu shot too and did not sing its praises. I curse the flu shot just as it cursed me. I felt so lousy that evening all I could do was lie on the floor in front of the space heater, moan, shiver and whine about how bad I felt but I couldn't give in because the recruiter was coming over so I could sign my sons life away (or the next 6 years) to the Minnesota National Guard. STRESS!! My kid is joining the military. STRESS!!

Today, Tuesday, I heard back a definite no from the insurance company so I had to have a long talk with my Dad about how he planned to pay for this mess he has among a million other things. Calling all the contractors back and thanking them but no sorry we will be doing the work ourselves. I did get in a Christmas shopping trip in today under the disguise of going to Home Depot to price check so my Dad could make a budget. Honey we are so close to the mall, can we please stop there so I can finish Christmas shopping?? Please?? Oh yeah, it worked.

Tonight I had to freak out on my poor family and tell everyone i was locking myself in my office for the whole night so I could work on my Mom's Christmas present. Which I almost lost when the page unexpectedly refreshed causing me to have a major panic attack. I had just worked 2 hours on that project and I don't have 2 more to give. But all was saved, leading me to believe that just maybe my luck is turning around. Maybe God is listening to what I am saying. I am at the end of my rope here.