Monday, March 16, 2009

Breaking News....Serial Killer on the Loose


Breaking news.....

This just in.
There is a killer on the loose.
This brutal serial killer is wanted for questioning
in the killings of several small animals.

The murderers name is Linus Badinus
also goes by the alias' of Fucking Cat and Fatty, Fatty Two By Four.
The killer is a grey tom cat who has been neutered and is thought
to be living in the Twin Cities Metro area.
The suspect is highly addicted to cat nip,
sharpening his weapons on leather sofa's and long naps in the sun.

Victims include two muskrats,
one thought to be much larger than the murderer.
Also thought to have murdered and beheaded
several brown field mice, several red robins and their offspring.
The latest victim of this serial animal killer
appears to be a grey rabbit, last seen in the back yard area
of the killers home. Said victims body has not yet been found
but much of the victims fur was left in the backyard area.


If you know there whereabouts of this brutal animal murderer
run, run as fast as you can.
Do not make eye contact as the killer has been known to rub against humans
and make a purring sound.
These are stall tactics that allow the murderer to make an escape.

Please call 1-800-Bad-Catz with any tips.


*The Small Animal League of Minnesota is offering an award for the capture and conviction of the bad ass cat in question.

8 comments:

rachael chatoor March 16, 2009 at 10:04 AM  

LMAO, well done! Linus is cute!

I am harboring an evil rodent and small animal murderer as well,......I had to close the cat door in fact because I was sick of chasing birds around the house.....Now my kitty only has supervised access........

Cat March 16, 2009 at 10:12 AM  

you are a clever lady michelle
this cat is a menace to society

Joanie March 16, 2009 at 11:08 AM  

Just look at that face! You can see right away he's a bad ass!

Kate March 16, 2009 at 11:57 AM  

Me thinks if Linus saw what you posted here, you'd be his next victim. ha ha ha ha ha!

Katherine March 16, 2009 at 1:20 PM  

The day before I relocated my old cat to South Carolina before we moved she murdered a bunny. My husband now calls her killer when referring to her in conversation.

Bobbie Leigh March 16, 2009 at 1:49 PM  

Your "fucking cat" is awesome! Can I borrow him for a while?

dragonesque March 16, 2009 at 4:04 PM  

Are you trying to say that the beautiful creature in the picture there is the killer? I don't believe that for a second!

Very funny post :-)

Snapshutter March 16, 2009 at 9:00 PM  

LOL. Reminds of our Pomeranian, who according to my kids, simply could not have killed that baby bunny in our back yard.

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I am Mom to 4 of the most kick ass kids ever! I learn shenanigans from them every day.

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