Breaking News....Serial Killer on the Loose

Breaking news.....

This just in.

There is a killer on the loose.

This brutal serial killer is wanted for questioning

in the killings of several small animals.

The murderers name is Linus Badinus

also goes by the alias' of Fucking Cat and Fatty, Fatty Two By Four.
The killer is a grey tom cat who has been neutered and is thought

to be living in the Twin Cities Metro area.

The suspect is highly addicted to cat nip,

sharpening his weapons on leather sofa's and long naps in the sun.

Victims include two muskrats,

one thought to be much larger than the murderer.

Also thought to have murdered and beheaded

several brown field mice, several red robins and their offspring.

The latest victim of this serial animal killer

appears to be a grey rabbit, last seen in the back yard area

of the killers home. Said victims body has not yet been found

but much of the victims fur was left in the backyard area.

If you know there whereabouts of this brutal animal murderer

run, run as fast as you can.

Do not make eye contact as the killer has been known to rub against humans

and make a purring sound.

These are stall tactics that allow the murderer to make an escape.

Please call 1-800-Bad-Catz with any tips.

*The Small Animal League of Minnesota is offering an award for the capture and conviction of the bad ass cat in question.