I heard a news story today about how they changed the paper on cigarettes so if they aren't puffed on they go out. Its a new safety feature or some shit. But it got me thinking on what great blog material I had here and how you all can be my personal cheerleaders.
I started smoking when I was 13 years old. I am 33 now. After 20 years I think its time to give it up. I am sure I started for all the same reasons any teenager starts smoking. They think its cool, it helps them fit in. You know, peer pressure bullshit. After 20 years I want to quit for all the same reasons most adults want to quit.
It smells. I hate the smell on my clothes, in my hair, on my breath. I am quite sure my poor husband gags every night when crawl into bed after my bedtime smoke.
My teeth look like hell. Years of coffee, soda, red wine and cigarettes have taken their toll on my pearly yellows. I have to have a ton of dental work done in the next few months including replacing some old veneers. I cannot have super white veneers mixed in with yellow smoke stained teeth. I just can't. If I succeed at quitting I can use all the money I save to bleach the hell out of my teeth so they are pretty white again.
One night this summer while we were on vacation in Wisconsin we were playing a drinking game along the lines of 20 questions. When it was Shawn's turned he asked my when I planned to stop. I know it's an innocent question but he had those puppy dog eyes when he asked. The memory of those puppy dog eyes have stayed with me.
I smoke a pack a day easily. More if I am super stressed so you can all imagine I have been hitting it hard since I've been dealing with my Dad's house. When I think about the fact I spend roughly $5 a day for 365 days a year that is a grand total of 1825.00 a year. Do you have any idea how many Coach handbags I could buy with that kind of money? In 2 years I could buy a hot tub to go on the deck we built especially for a hot tub and never actually equipped it with said warm and relaxing. I know it is unlikely I will actually put $5 a day away but maybe I could open up a savings account and just move $35 a week over.
The big kicker, the reason among reasons, the hail mary of reasons I want to quit is 2 fold. Number one my kids. I know they are breathing the shit somehow and it isn't good for them at all. Hannah and Ed both have asthma and cigarette smoke is just about the number one worst thing for them to breath. Not to mention the long term effects on all of them including the hubby.
Number 2 is myself. Did I mention my kids inherited their asthma from me? Yeah. I am also worried about cancer and emphysema. My Grandma Fritz died of emphysema when I was 14. It was awful to see my wonderful Grandma struggling to breath. Constantly hooked to an oxygen machine. I want to be there for my Grand kids for as long as I can. I don't want to leave them before they are 16 or god forbid before they are ever even born. I want to watch my kids grow up and have babies. So, it is in my best interest to throw this 20 year habit out the window.
I know it won't be easy. I smoked through half of my developmental years. I don't think I will know how to act without a cigarette between my fingers but I am determined to learn. I love the feeling of lighting up a cigarette and taking that first drag. The taste of the first drag is indescribable but I hear you can actually start tasting food again once you quit so maybe I can become addicted to the taste of garlic. Mmmmm garlic.
Quit date: February 1